The Beauties of Being Single

I was perusing (does anyone else have a slight obsession with this word?) through Facebook the other day when I saw a video of two girls with their guitars and original song, and the caption read, “These girls nailed it- the struggles of being single!”  and my face totally scrunched up- why does being single have to be looked down on?

It took me about a year to fully accept being single again after my high school boyfriend and I split, and that’s when I started noticing something strange. The more okay I was not having a boyfriend, the more it bothered people- “when are you getting a boyfriend?!” “we need to get you a boy!” “you need to date again!!”. Do you think I wake in the morning and cry because no boy texts me “good morning” or calls me pretty? Well honey I don’t need any of that (plus I already know how pretty I am) (I hope you know that was sarcasm). I’m single, and I’m perfectly happy about that- yeah maybe Sean and I have plotted ways to disturb the happy overly in love couples walking across the compass holding hands- but whatever. There’s a lot of good things about being single

  1. You can eat the whole pizza. And get all of your favorite toppings on it-no need to compromise your favorites or going halfzies. No “ew gross I don’t like pineapple on my pizza” because YAS PUT EXTRA PINEAPPLE ON ALL THE PIZZA and garlic and onions while you’re at it, I’m not kissing anyone tonight! (But maybe we shouldn’t yell that to the pizza guy over the phone) 
  2. You don’t have to worry about another person—-listen to me here. There’s the family and friends you still gotta think about, but I’m talking about relationships here- all that time you spend with them, talking, texting, being with them- it does take a lot out of you, whether you want to admit it or not. Being single means you can set that significant other part of your brain free, and get some rest. breakupreality
  3. And on that note, you really get to know yourself when you’re single. True story here: after my breakup, I had a lot of time on my hands, no clue what to do with it, so I went back to an old hobby of mine- sewing- and picked up a new one- jewelry making. Maybe I didn’t have good motives (trying to be a “cool artsy girl” so the ex would want to come back) but those soon disappeared when I fell deep into the stitching and threading in finding the creative outlets that I needed. Point here is that when we were together, I was focusing all of my time and energy into us that I forgot about the importance of doing something for me- and something that I had wanted to get back into for a long time.relationshipwithyou
  4. When you’re with someone, that’s it. If you’re anything like me, you have a one-track mind, so the switch for even looking at other guys turns off. But when you’re single, you can flirt with all the boys and no one’s gonna get cranky! So again, flirt with the bagger at the grocery store, in the line at Sugar Shack, and that really cute repeat customer. Who’s going to tell your significant other- oh that’s right, you don’t have one! So play it!
  5. Following that, being single is a time to experiment and go on dates with different people and see what kinda person you click with. Or go on really weird dates and have a good story to tell later (but that’s for another day). 
  6. There’s no relationship drama! Seriously, this might be the best part. Every relationship goes through that period of heresy, he said/she said, you get the picture, god awful drama and feelings get hurt, and we like feelings being okay. 
  7. We’re all young people here (even you, Sean). Are five year relationships necessary? If you’re in one, that’s great, that’s beautiful, props to you, but for the rest of us, don’t rush anything. Please, it’s okay to be single- we Millennials are still trying to figure everything out- one day we’re all about Sweet Frog and the next it’s Sugar Shack- so how are we expected to know who we are, or better yet, what we want in a relationship, if we can’t even figure out what kinda dessert we’re so into? We’re still growing up and constantly changing, so our wants and needs are changing as well- how are we to know what kinda partner we want?

    future

    This kid has his life together- I could be his girlfriend!

  8.  Being single helps you learn how to be “a strong, independent black woman who don’t need no man”. ‘Nuff said. concietedjackie
  9. More to be said: You learn how to take care of you, which is great for a thousand and seven reasons, but the most important one here is best said by the Dirty Heads,  “If you can’t love yourself how can you love the next?”. Take care of you, because you’re grown-up, and a significant other is there to be with and for you, not be your babysitter. 
  10. Maybe there’s a reason why you’re single- and not one of those creepy reasons like that you have twenty pet squirrels at home- something more along the normal lines that you’ve tried some dates and flirtations out but you haven’t found what you’re looking for. Props to you, don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. 
  11. Being single means you can be overly obvious about your crush on the men’s soccer team without offending the other one who has your heart (food).
  12. The single life gives you time to scope out the market and look for someone rich. hopetomarryrich
  13. You learn how to be happy without having to hear someone tell you that you’re pretty everyday (among other cute things). This is a hard one to adjust from, but it really does do a lot for your confidence level when you have the epiphany that things like running and sewing can make you happy and smiling- not just holding hands.

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Day in the Life of a Commuter

Well hi, hey there, hello, long time no see! I know, I know, it’s been like three years since I posted something and you got your cranky pants on, but hey blogging isn’t as fun and happy as it seems- you actually have to think of things to write about! And lately my brain has turned into a bowl of melted ice cream and I can barely think enough to do my readings. So what has been going on that interferes with blogs? And wait- don’t you still commute? Here, why don’t I give you a play by play of a typical day:

5:30 AM: Alarm goes off. Repeatedly hit snooze and turn to the other side of the bed as if that will make waking up early go away. 

5:49: Jump up and runs out off bed to change, brush teeth & etc, put on backpack and grab gym bag. 

5:56: Make coffee and exchange a few words with James, packs breakfast

6:02: Run to car. James runs to bus stop. 

6:18: While driving through Carytown, check out VCU crew team running on the side. Pray to not get in a car crash. 

6:28: Check in at Cary Street Gym and make way to yoga class. Sit and try to find inner peace while the four sorority girls banter behind me.  

6:31: Smile as yoga instructor calls out the talking sorority girls in her morning greeting.

8:01: Finish lukewarm, low-pressure shower in the gym’s locker room. Change into the clothes packed last night, hoping that they end up being weather appropriate that day.

8:27: Go to the Einstein’s to use the STAT free coffee card. Sit outside and drinks coffee, eat packed breakfast and do readings for the day. 

8:43: So many cute skater boys out this early

10:52: Get to history class early to discuss the McDonnell trial with the professor. 

11:41: There are too many people in class who want to teach history. Tries to Darwin out who will end up selling insurance, who will switch majors, and who will ultimately keep the shared goal.

11:45: Has a mini panic attack about possible career as an insurance agent.  

12:16 PM: Head across campus to American history survey.

12:44: Can’t pay attention in lecture because the professor is a silver fox who sounds a bit like John Wayne. Also, is that a wedding ring he’s wearing or what? 

1:47: While leaving the building, sees a free food tent. Listens to someone talk about their obscure charity club for ten minutes in exchange for a piece of candy. 

1:55: Walking through Starbucks in the library after class lets out is always a bad idea. 

1:59: Finally find a computer in Cabell library. Eat the lunch packed last night due to lack of meal plan and do online homework. 

2:24: Online homework done. Don’t have sociology book and can’t read for tomorrow. Facebook stalks people from class and hopes they don’t walk behind and see the screen. 

3:07: Put in earbuds and walks across campus to the parking deck. See everywhere boyfriend on the way and wonder if should smile or not at him. 

3:10: Smiling at everywhere boyfriend only ends up with him giving a weird look. 

3:20: Finally gets out of parking deck and onto Belvidere. 

3:45: Get to work on time. (yeah!) Coworkers are full of smiles and high-fives, a reminder of how great it is to love your job

4:26: Texts from friends ask if you’re on campus and want to chill. Send pictures of work back to them with sad faces. 

5:13: Customers assume that you know their children who also attend VCU, and talk about how much they love living on campus. Grit teeth and smile and nod. 

6:49: Hungry. Eats granola bar and Jif-to-Go cup of peanut butter. Buys penny candy and pretends like food isn’t necessary.

7:22: Really hot customer comes in. Stare at him while coworkers try to converse, nod and pretend to listen to them while keeping eyes of Poor Pretty Sick Boy. 

8:30: Perfect, no one’s here, time to study flashcards.

8:31: Suddenly, three people show up and want to wait on new prescriptions. Reminds them that store closes in half in hour. None of them seem to care.

8:54: Gives up on studying. Who really uses the imperfect tense in Italy, anyway?

8:59: Get out of the store, sir. Hallmark cards will be there tomorrow.

9:16: Arrives home after work. Momma is at the door and has a lot on her mind.

10:28: Finally upstairs, throws gym bag in laundry basket and puts on pajamas. The moment butt hits the mattress is best relief in the world. 

11:24: The five minute Facebook trip has turned into forty minutes. Too late to work on readings at this point and gives up on sociology anyway.

11:41: Sets alarm to go off at 6:30 the next day. Yay for another hour to sleep in while still waking up too early! 

11:45: Brother opens door and walks into room and begins talking about his day, despite the fact the lights are off, he rambles on for a couple minutes. Trying to be a good sister and sleep are not going to happen in the same night.

12:13 AM: Lol jk can’t sleep when remembering about Red Eye and First Fridays the next day.  

The Old and the New

So I’ve finally attended all of my classes, from yoga to sociology, seen (almost) all of my old friends, and have gawked at the cute, tattooed, hipster boys. I think it’s safe to say that I’m back home at VCU. 

One of my first days back on campus with everyone around, I was on my way to the bookstore when I passed by a couple of cute boys wearing Grateful Dead t-shirts. I stopped them to talk for a couple minutes (really I was just trying to figure out where I could get a stealie top too, but it doesn’t hurt that they were cute), then they gave me a knuckle punch and left me with the words “keep truckin’ on” as we parted, and I yelled at myself for not getting their numbers. Ahh, back to normal life.  Continue reading

Let’s Go, Sophomore

So, I’m just sitting here, in my little home in Bon Air, listening to punk-reggae and perusing Facebook when I see an advertisement that says Starbucks is going to be offering those pumpkin spice lattes early this year. Ew no gross why would you do such a thing it’s still summer? And then it hits me: uh hello, Claire, classes start on Thursday so to some people it is fall. 

Wait what I actually have to go to school, with real people? I registered with classes six months ago and now I don’t even remember what I’m taking. Can I just find another cute, chai tea-loving boy in Starbucks and follow him  to his nine am and pray it’s the same one I signed up for? 

With all the students returning for the fall and the new fresh babies for their first taste of college in the area, that means good ole Cary Street Gym is going to be overcrowded with those overly fit guys that intimidate me out of using the free weights, and I’m praying that I won’t have to fight to get a spot in the sunrise yoga class I love so dearly. Oh well, I guess new people means new hot guys showing off their arm muscles and tattoos to stare at as I pretend to work out. 

As if the gym wasn’t bad enough, let’s add a bunch of strange people!

Honestly here, I was feeling pretty Continue reading

“I’ve grown as a Person”

As I’m sitting outside (in this be-ay-you-tiful RVA summer weather), I remind myself that my sophomore year of college is about to start and I can’t help but to think about where I was mentally a year ago, about to start my freshman year. This kind of reminiscing and ruminating typically calls for the phrase: “I’ve grown as a person”

Man I hate it when people say that. “I’ve grown so much as a person since I’ve met you/did that thing/got a new job/went to college”. Growing as a person doesn’t mean in height, which would make sense, if you took the phrase literally. It means mentally, emotionally, psychologically, you know, all those things that only you can measure. I could tell you that I “grew as a person” when I started working at the pharmacy but what I really mean is that I improved my social skills with customers and learned the names of drugs and how unhappy people can be when they don’t have any refills on their prescriptions. Weird little things I know you really care about.  Continue reading