I still read 17 Magazine occasionally, but mostly for the clothing and hair. Everything else is really stupid to me, especially all those weird advice columns on boys (maybe I should start reading those…). I opened it up last week to the horoscopes, which I normally ignore, but hey it’s the month of my sign so I decided to read it anyone. I’ll paraphrase here: You the scorpio have been flirting with boys all school year and on the 3rd, one will ask you out but you’ll say no and continue to play the field. LOL that is most false statement I’ve ever read. So I’ve had a conversation or two with a cute boy, but that’s pretty much it. Plus, no one’s asked me out today and unless I get some random text in the next few hours then astrology lied to me (gasps)!
Back in high school, when legs went weeks before being shaved, make-up bags collected dust, and our uniform was never washed, if we ever saw a boy-especially in our school, shrieks went through the school of “OH MY GOD A BOY MAKE HIM LEAVE PLEASE”. Then I went to college were I constantly shave my legs, and wear make-up and clean clothes everyday and I’m sitting in my little chair in the commons every morning like “Hi cute boy walking by please love me I bake cookies and cupcakes okay bye maybe next time”.
(This is me in Jennifer Lawerence’s body when the pretty boys walk by)(click on the gifs to watch them animate!)
So my communication skills with boys has been limited to baking for the engineers (who just use me for my cookies I’m pretty sure) and my gay guy friends. I love them dearly (btw we need to hang out soon!) but I can’t date them. We can sit around and look at cute boys, actually can we please? Also, I wonder a lot how did I ever get a boyfriend? I used to know how to boy and now I’m so confused.
During the summer, Sean used to ask me what my dating plan was for college. I told him my idea, which was more or less DATE ALL THE BOYS and asked him what his was, which was having fun for now and holding off until sophomore year. Guess which one of use found love during Welcome Week? (hint hint it’s not me)
Now Hannah and I just sit around, drinking our coffee and planning our dates with those non existent boyfriends we plan on getting. Of course, our only plan is baked goods. Why does getting boys have to be so hard? We’re nice girls!
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being single. I love doing my own thing, going where I please and all the jazz. You’re always on your clock and can focus on you and your arts and crafts projects. You can work like crazy and not feel bad that you’re not seeing them. It’s been like this for two years now, so I’m way past that lonely post break up stage where all you do pray for a pretty boy.
I know I’ll be okay whether or not I get a boyfriend, but in the back of my head that little voice is freaking out that I’m going to die alone and have fifty cats and all the students are going to whisper in the halls “Ms Gerloff? She’s a crazy cat lady! You don’t want her”. Seeing things like the adorable hipster couples around campus and reading articles like this one (http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/) make me go “aww”.
But at the end of the day, I just remember that I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man (thanks Saint Gertrude!) who has plenty of time to find an engineer husband (or pharmacist/art student/whatever).
I will always love you, my fellow single ladies,