My Ridiculous Birthday List

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Okay people, the nineteenth birthday is in T-10 days and here’s my wish list. (Pay close attention Mother)

1. I want to an attractive, all-male a cappella group to serenade “Happy Birthday” to me. Shirtless, of course. And if one of the them could jump out of a giant cake, that’d be cool too. The cake, would of course be red velvet and the attractive man would then  feed me some.

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Like these boys in Pitch Perfect. Make the Jesse jump out of the cake (and then fall in love with me)

2. Front row seats to Song Contest for me and my Gertie girls. And I’m expecting nothing less than Pink & Brown quality from each class (including  Orange & Blue).

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The Silver and Blue reign has come to a close and it’s time to usher in a new era of winners who can’t celebrate with cakes.

3. A personal dresser/psychic in the morning who could pick out the perfect outfit for each day. He or she would account for the weather, whether or not I’m working that day, and know how cute I have to look depending on who I will/won’t see that day. Save me time in the morning picking out clothes and give me time to drink more coffee.

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If they want to buy more clothes for me as well, they are more than welcome.

4. The outrageous $2000 giraffe that we’re selling at the pharmacy. But only if it comes with the $1200 tiger. Because no one else is going to buy it. (I think my 20% discount will help ya out ;))

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5. Chocolate covered espresso beans. But not just a standard size bag from Fresh Market. I want enough espresso beans that so they will equal my weight. Because there is never enough coffee in the world.

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That’s amore

5. You might need a chemistry person or something for this one. Claire brand hybrid lotion: The consistency of goat’s milk body lotion with the aromatic scent of Summer Vanilla Berry lotion by Bath & Body Works (should I mention that they discontinued that collection)?

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(Luckily I bought out half the store when I found out that they stopped making these. Now you just need to get the goat’s milk lotion)

6. For the frugal: one scratch off lottery ticket. But this will not be just any lottery ticket. No, when I scratch this one, I want to see “Congratulations! You’ve one free month of studying abroad in Perugia!” And while I’m there, I want an attractive Italian pop star to mistake me for other part of the duo while in a caffe sipping on espresso and enjoying un dolci. He will take me to the countryside, sing to me often, and pamper me with love, food, and clothes. Wait that sounds like the Lizzie McGuire Movie. That didn’t end well between Paolo and Lizzie.

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Well, my Italian lover will be sweet and not a jerk,  he and I will ride a baby blue Vespa off into the sunset then retire to our countryside and cook large Italian meals together

7. Katy Perry rented out for the day. Katy and I will have an itinerary filled with talking about our same lives, playing with cats, singing songs, and lots of arts and crafts so I can have a California Gurls outfit. We of course, will consume pounds of sugar and play in her real life Candy Land like in the music video, as well at the great board game,

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Just imagine me next to her, wearing a homemade lollipop dress and bracelets made of Rolos.

8.  A reserved parking spot for me in the Main Street Parking Deck so I don’t have to go through all that mess of looking for a place to park every morning.  Also, thanks to Saint Gertrude I only know how to parallel park and not normal park.

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9. Cookie cutters. But not just any cookie cutters, I want them in the shapes of each of the countries so I can make a cookie globe

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 I don’t even know what I want to do for my birthday, but at least you have my list now. Having some friends in dorms and some not is hard trying to figure out what to do, then add the awkward Sunday day of birth on top. I’m slightly considering transporting all of you to my house and cooking food for you all or hopping from dorm building to dorm building and spending sufficient time with each friend in the building. Could someone else plan a surprise party for me? 

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Also, if you could make a cake like this from your dorm room, that’d be pretty cool.

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