School Boys

In the beginning, they were just on the VCU 2017 Facebook page. Oh look, how cute there are boys. Wait, they like good music and seem cool. Do I talk to them? Meh, that’s too much effort. I’ll stick to the girls. They all like chocolate and sleeping. Heh? Did you say boys do too? Well maybe I could say something or another. It’s just online, it’s not like I actually have to talk to them in person.

Then Welcome Week happened and I was so boy deprived I kinda wanted to just to hang out with boys. After four years of all girls, I was kinda fascinated by boys. What do they do? How do they act? Why are they so cute? Things sorta worked out when boys were fascinated by my cookies. (Am I a literal sugar momma?)

Next, I had my first classes (and the boys were there)! I’m not going to lie, I was a bit condescending in the beginning Oh look boys how cute are they trying to be smart and answer questions. But then when they did answer questions, they gave really intelligent answers and I was left in the back like what happened to you guys in high school?!?

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Now, coming to semester’s close, I’m left over here, burnt out in the corner, eating my food and wishing all the boys would just get up and leave. Yeah, you guys are all cute and smart and potential husbands, but I want to lie on the floor and talk to the teacher about our personal lives. Plus I know she or he has candy hidden somewhere and if you’re gone then there’s more for me. With you guys gone I don’t have to worry about sitting “lady-like” or whatever that is. And all of this shaving my legs stuff is stupid, I don’t have time or energy for that. Vivian and I pretty much gave up on that when you all decided to grow those creepy mustaches in November. I’m not into this societal constraint that girls should have nice, shaved legs. Okay I do shave just not all the time in the cooler weather it’s a lot of effort when you wear long pants every day (Hey Caroline I do wear pants!!!!!)

I mean, I really do like having boys around, I’m still just not used to them. They don’t have enough emotions. They also don’t do arts and crafts, so they loose points for that. Why can’t there be an all-girls class or two at VCU? Life would be so much nicer, stretching on floor sitting criss cross applesauce eating lots and lots of cake. Further proof I belong back at Saint Gertrude. Okay so, boys are pretty to look at, nice to hang out with, fun to bake for, just strange to have in class and dumb enough to not love me. Yeap that is it I have cracked the code so where is my million dollars and rich husband prize?

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