Irrational Fears

Does anyone else have any really strange, irrational fears?

I had a really big phobia of dogs when I was little. At the sight of any canine, I’d run away, grab my mom or dad, close my eyes and scream for a few minutes until the dog was out of sight and I was positive the dog locked in a room or crate. I applauded dog catchers (I was kind of a sadistic second grader). Walking around places like Stony Point Mall involved being on constant dog watch, and I couldn’t watch Cats and Dogs because cats were the bad guys and dogs were the god guys, which wouldn’t work in my messed up universe. People were always shocked when my parents told them about my fear, and usually said things like, “how are you scared of such a sweet dog?!” but I refused to believe them. 

I eventually got over all that at around 13, and now all I pretty much do is talk about the corgi puppy/ies Rich Husband and I will have.

I still have really weird fears now, but nothing that requires deep cries and screams at the sight of whatever is troubling me. Now they’re just straight up weird. Ever since my very first day at Sweet Frog, when I didn’t clock in because no one showed me how, I have this irrational fear of not clocking in/out. Eventually Sweet Frog gave us all number codes we typed in on the computers,but I still have to swipe a card at the pharmacy and every night when I leave I ask myself two or three times if I actually did clock out.

Now that it’s nice weather out, I’m constantly driving with my windows down. And since it’s Richmond, there are some weird smells outside. And whenever I smell something strange, I roll my windows down and turn the music to low, sniff around and try to assure myself that it’s the weird stuff in the river, and not my car about to explode on me.  When the light turns red and I speed off, the smell goes away, and I am momentarily relieved that my car is okay until I end up behind a truck and sniff something else bad, and the whole sha-bang goes on again. 

When I’m on the elliptical or running around the neighborhood, I get worried a lot that my left knee cap will spontaneously burst of place. I’m not really sure where this came from, possibly seventh grade science where I learned that the patella isn’t connected to any other bones and is just kinda floating out there. I’ve never actually heard of anyone’s knee cap going kuku bananas like that, but then again, I work at a pharmacy and customers like to tell me more than I want to hear so it’s only a matter of time before someone comes in, “So I was on the elliptical when suddenly my kneecap…”

Of course, this only adds to my distaste of working out

This last irrational fear might be as rational as they come: Diabetes. I’m scared to death of needles (which is a totally rational fear), so there’s no way in hell I’d be able to prick my finger multiple times a day every single day of my life. I never want to have to wear compression stockings. That’s why I’m so obsessed with healthy eating and living, and try to limit my daily sugar intake despite my constant cake baking (Did you know that there is no room for sugar on the food pyramid, thus there is no recommended daily amount, like there is for protein, fiber, etc?).

Except for your immense fear of diabetes

Except for your immense fear of diabetes

Point is, I’m beyond scared of countless needle pricks and having to see my blood all the time. When they did bloodwork on me earlier this year I had to hold squeeze the life out of and almost cut off circulation of the PA’s hand. When they RN said “done!”, I looked up, saw two vials of my blood and the little bit that dripped onto the chair, fell back down and curled in the fetal position, crying for my mommy.

New mantra for when I go visit the doctor

(I think what I’m trying to say here is that let’s just all eat and be healthy and not get type 2 diabeetus!)

Maybe I should forget these petty fears that eat me up and focus my energy on real life worries, you know, like how universal healthcare and gay marriage will cause the demise of America (this is me trying to be a humorous liberal like Colbert). The real moral of the story is that we really can’t spend our time freaking out about little things or big things. No one really knows what’s going to happen, so there’s no reason to worry about the unpredictable. Take it easy and enjoy your life as it comes.

One thought on “Irrational Fears

  1. i also get scared of diabetes or hurting my knee while working out! my biggest fear is spiders. i cant even see them!

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